I wrote a post about Types of Love, Many of my friends asked me to write in-depth about Unconditional love, so here it goes.

What is Unconditional Love?

Let’s first understand what is unconditional love? In Unconditional love you accept your soul mate as it is. Accepting there strength and weakness. Unconditional gives you real happiness for every smile and joy you bring to your partner without the condition of them loving you back or acting as per any of your conditions. There are many things which differ Unconditional love from Puppet love. Unconditional love is possible only by a confident and courageous person. You never loose your sense of self, Ethics, principle or purpose of life for the sake of a partner. Neither you act nor do anything which makes you feel bad about yourself. Your relationship shouldn’t be your only thing in life. It’s an important part of your life, but not LIFE. You believe in yourself and trust yourself and not seeking happiness in a relationship but seek happiness within you. Only a self content and happy person can share love and give happiness to others. You should be enjoying your life. Go to that gaming zone and bust some evil game boss. Play football or shoot hoops with buddies. go take a visit to a spa with friends. Do anything that’s fun for you. Follow your goals with gusto. Be passionate about your life. Relationship’s are about sharing love not just getting it. Life should be fun!

What about the need of someone you love? What if you ‘get’ them or you don’t?

In Unconditional love, there is no ego. Easy to say, but a difficult to follow principle. In unconditional love you get happiness from within you and not just the partner. The thing that makes you wild and feel unconditional love is making your partner happy. Say you’re dumped or in a one side love, where you don’t get love back. Do you really think it makes a difference? You love to be with your partner, but keeping your partner happy makes you happier. If they are happy with or without you, you still feel happy for them. You feel you have attained happiness in your partner’s happiness. This doesn’t mean you stop enjoying your life. There would be some pain, but it’s a big deal only if you make one. Remember love is an unlimited resource; there is no limit to love. Some wonderful quote’s.

One’s first love is always perfect until one meets one’s second love.

Elizabeth Aston, The Exploits & Adventures of Miss Alethea Darcy, 2005

To fear love is to fear life, and those who fear life are already three parts dead.

Bertrand Russell (1872 – 1970), Marriage and Morals (1929) ch. 19

The world is always filled with wonderful people. It also helps you leave abusive relationships or those everything comfortable love, where there is only comfort and no passion of love.

Enjoying Unconditional love!

The best part about unconditional love is that there is no controlling part. No jealousy, coz there is no reason to be jealous. You don’t want your partner to act in a certain way or the other. You obviously encourage your partner to pursue there dreams and goals. Also teach them anything which could be a growing experience for them. But it’s from a genuine helping mindset with no mind games. It should be from heart! If they burp, you should obviously tell him/her to avoid it

This also helps you avoid the biggest mistake of making your relationship the only #1 priority in your life. Two people who can do something more then write poems 24/7 or stay together the whole day can bring a lot to the relationship. One should understand life is a journey to be enjoyed and not a destination. Love is to be enjoyed, not a possession to keep. Love yourself too and don’t make the relationship boring. You can keep the passion alive only if you do something more than just loving each other and loosing the real ‘you’.

Dive head first and deep in love and enjoy every moment of it, but don’t make it an obstacle in your life growth. Make it an inspiration, a source of positive energy to tackle every challenge of life. Relationship or infact, any of your decision should not be a battle between Heart and Mind. They always go together, and then you’re on a right path. Write a poem for the loved one, but don’t forget to clean the garage!

Do people fight over anything in unconditional love?

Yes, they do. Disagreements are a part of every relationship. How we tackle them are the key to long lasting relationships. When a disagreement happens over big things, every person reacts by their personality. Some may be dramatic and like to throw everything they have around them. Some would give a lion’s glare. Some may give a silent treatment. Some wouldn’t do anything, not even talk about it and try to ignore it completely, which leads to resentment later. Some may just call it off! All these screenplay make wonderful movies, but not long lasting relationships. The best way to tackle them is being honest to your partner about your feelings. Tell them what you don’t like. Listen to there reasons with an open mind and together make a decision. Make a sweet compromise which is a win-win situation for both. Say you like to spend a holiday going for a Comedy club and your partner want to sit at home and watch a Movie. Why not do both. Or do it alternately. Say you both are completely contrasted, you want to go play some sport with buddies and she want to go shopping. Create a solution. You can go shoot hoops with buddies and she can go with her friends for shopping. And then take a dinner together at some fancy restaurant. Create solutions, don’t just say ‘you get a new boyfriend and I’ll make a new girlfriend who likes football’

When to breakup?

A muddy topic, but to give justice to this article I’ll have to get my hands dirty. Breakup has to be the last stage, but it’s necessary under certain conditions.

1. Conditional egoistic love

2. Abusive relationship

3. Cheating

4. Drug abuse, Self-Destructive Addictions etc

5. Heavy Incompatibility

Now, before coming to conclusion for any of the above reason. Remember, People make mistakes, if they feel genuinely sorry for there mistake you should consider forgiveness. Though you should do it, only if you’re 100% comfortable to forgive someone and you are sure that it won’t be repeated or you won’t make the other person guilty for it day and night. Any incompatibility should be tried to resolve first. Problems should be discussed with honesty and love. These problems happen usually when one person loves the other unconditionally and the other doesn’t. Or sometimes, they could be unintentional due to social conditioning. Breaking up with someone doesn’t mean you don’t love them, but there is a bigger priority in your life of growth and honesty to self. To feel good and be happy in your life. If there is inconsistency with your principles, it’s probably time to leave saying ‘Good bye with love’. It would be painful, but a growing experience for both. And don’t breakup coz your partner didn’t cut his nails

Last Words:

Don’t get too worked up for having a perfect relationship. There is no perfect relationship, simply create perfect moments. Relationships can be a roller coaster ride, but it’s fun and adventurous. It gives you happiness. Not laughing 24/7 but a deep sense on inner joy and peace. One of the most amazing experience of life. It would also change the way you connect with others. It’s a lense which make this world beautiful. Love is about letting emotions flow and avoid thinking too much about it. Enjoy it!

By the way, don’t keep more than one soul mate of unconditional love; you may land in trouble

This valentine day got me all charged up to write about love, so here it goes.

The emotion of love has been and would always be a mysterious emotion which every scientist or lover would be unable to define.

The best way to define is to just feel it and explore…

The types of love are created absolutely by the standards a person feels being in love.

Type 1: Seeking Love

Human beings always use social conditioning while approaching anything new. We are all socially programmed to seek true love.

Two people try to seek love in their surroundings, find each other, some butterflies run in the stomach and the chemistry seems to be the best. They fall in relationship to feel loved by the special one. The problem here is two people trying to seek love from the other. Both feel great love from each other during the start and everything seems to be perfect. But after sometime when both the people land on earth from the romantic ride from the moon, people discover lack of love. They see lack of love in the relationship, a power struggle starts where both wants to control the other, want to get more and more love from the other as they got during the start of the perfect relationship. There is no problem with anyone, but the reasons they fall in love was wrong. Trying to seek or get love from the other cannot be the base of a relationship. The control part of love comes in, the fear of loosing the other or unable to compromise factor comes in. This leads to one partner being the dominating, the other submitting or if they are conscious enough, they would leave the relationship. Or either one, dumping the other.

The feeling here is only of frustration, jealousy, desire to control and manipulate. Use of diplomacy and even dishonesty. A pure addiction to love.

Type 2: Infatuation

You just saw a babe and she’s the sexiest girl in the world, a striking beauty! Or you saw that handsome dude with the biggest attitude ever and a sexy build. The entire relationship is based on just sex. This type of relationship has the shortest life. The infatuation is the shortest lived emotion. As soon as the lust is over, so do the relationship. This relationship is not a problem if both parties agree to it, but it’s not true love.

The feeling here is only lust. Addiction to sex.

Type 3: Puppet Love

This is the type of love where a person is highly in love with the other, but the other isn’t. If they do get in a relationship somehow; it leads to a partner using the other emotionally, sexually, financially and every other way possible. The puppet partner has loosed the sense of his/her identity, the sense of purpose, the principles and the whole viewpoint of self. There is no sense of right and wrong for the puppet lover. The person has surrendered their life to the other. This usually happens due to low self-esteem and low confidence level of an individual. One partner is love seeker and the other is a comfort seeker.

The emotion felt by the puppet lover are of depression, low self-esteem, feeling worthless and a completely domesticated puppet.

The emotion felt by the controller are though good initially, may try to boost their self-esteem. But would always feel stuck and it would turn into resentment. They do have a comfortable corner, but one which they would hate to be in. The guilty feeling always takes over.

Type 4: The comfort Love

This relationship starts just for the sake of feeling of security of a relationship. These are the people who probably got hurt in past relationship or too scared to venture in the unknown mystery of love. Arranged marriages or relationships based as per perfect compatibility but lacking the passion of love and attraction. (I am not talking just about the physical attraction here ) They make the most comfortable relationships. Isn’t loving the one after you marry a safer option? To be frank, NO! It’s leaving the reigns of your relationship on luck. It’s like I don’t know how to choose my life partner so I better leave it to someone else or pure luck. Or probably I’ll select the one, my parents found for me. The one I selected just by looking a pic and the financial status. Some do it due to social conditioning. These people are soooooo scared of getting hurt, that they forgot the passion of love. They forgot what it is to get butterflies in stomach. For those who go in this relationship for fear of getting hurt, either forgot how wonderful every feeling of love is. Yes, you can get hurt, but it will help you grow and be a strong human being later. It would crush your heart to pieces, but it’s the only thing which would make it jump with the feeling of love. Love is the only thing which would make it expand beyond any limitations or reservedness you had. And those who go for the social conditioning, please open your mind up! This also includes people who are in a dead relationship, but fear to move on. Please remember, this world is filled with wonderful people all over.

The feeling here is though of comfort, they would always miss the passion of love. The most sacred feeling of completeness, the energy of love!

Type 5: Unconditional love

What is this? The day one recognizes it; it would be your biggest realization. It’s the same realization which prompted me to write this article. True love is where there is no expectation. The one where you don’t even expect the lover to be with you. There is no ego in the relationship. No sense of jealousy or even controlling the other. No fear of even loosing the other. How? True love is nothing else but pure love. It’s all about being happy for your partner’s happiness. Every smile you bring, every laughter you bring, makes you the happiest person on earth. This doesn’t make you leave your ethics and principle or sense of self. You love yourself, but there is so much love in ‘you’ that you want to share it with your partner. A complete abundance of love. The feeling removes jealousy and controlling behind because you don’t obsessively want the partner to be with you. There is no limit of love. You understand that even if your partner is with you or without you, you’re happy for them. This also doesn’t keep you attached to that single person after the relationship is broken, because you understand that love is an unlimited resource, an energy which has no end! It would also help you to leave old abusive, dead or one sided love because you understand there is no lack of love in this world. A true love always founds the right one. You remain so happy in the relationship, but even if it goes sour there is no feeling of regret, no feeling of loss because you love even yourself unconditionally. You always have your family and friends to support you. And the best thing you have is ‘you’. That one person that smiles at you in the mirror, the one that loves you unconditionally. In this love, you accept your partner as it is. You accept their strength and weakness; you don’t want to change them anyway. You encourage them to pursue their dreams and goals. You do everything to make your partner happy but yet don’t loose your sense of self. When this realization struck, it’s the most amazing one. You remain so happy for no reason at all. There is so much fun, that you would dislike the other old model of relationships. This makes the relationship so much fun and exciting. You give you’re partners happiness a priority but also yourself. This feeling brings the most amazing sense of security. Infact, this approach would even change the way you relate to others. You’ll be able to connect with everyone on a deeper level. The one based on honesty, love and acceptance. The feeling would grow out your relationship. It would completely change your mindset from scarcity to abundance. The feeling which makes you a source of energy, rather than an extractor. It would change the world around you. Positivity and the zest of life, makes you live the life with courage and with the passion of love.

The feeling here is full of passion, joy, fun and peace.

A relationship where two souls become ‘one’.

You would have seen more than one type of love in your relationship. We all have different phases and moods which make us dribble through these types. All we have to do is always strive to be on unconditional level. The one which empowers you and creates the abundance of love and joy.

Here’s a poem I wrote this valentine….

It’s called ‘Lover’, quite cheesy I know….

Nah! I don’t want to be your Lover,
I love to be your companion,
To share the deepest joys and sorrows with you,
To face every challenge with you together,
Nah! I don’t want to be your lover,
I love to be your friend to have pranks with,
To have cute fights over a piece of cake,
To share all the talks of our childhood dreams,
To listen to your talks, to walk in style forever,
Nah! I don’t want to be your lover,
I love to share the passion of love forever,
The deepest feelings two souls could ever reach,
To give my loyalty and unfold your deepest emotions,
To care so much, that I can feel your pain as mine,
To respect your strength and accept your weakness,
And Create perfect moments of joy, fun and peace forever,
Like never created in this world ever,
Nah! I don’t want to be just your lover,
Yes, I do want to be the most passionate lover…….