Unconditional Love Reloaded!

I wrote a post about Types of Love, Many of my friends asked me to write in-depth about Unconditional love, so here it goes.

What is Unconditional Love?

Let’s first understand what is unconditional love? In Unconditional love you accept your soul mate as it is. Accepting there strength and weakness. Unconditional gives you real happiness for every smile and joy you bring to your partner without the condition of them loving you back or acting as per any of your conditions. There are many things which differ Unconditional love from Puppet love. Unconditional love is possible only by a confident and courageous person. You never loose your sense of self, Ethics, principle or purpose of life for the sake of a partner. Neither you act nor do anything which makes you feel bad about yourself. Your relationship shouldn’t be your only thing in life. It’s an important part of your life, but not LIFE. You believe in yourself and trust yourself and not seeking happiness in a relationship but seek happiness within you. Only a self content and happy person can share love and give happiness to others. You should be enjoying your life. Go to that gaming zone and bust some evil game boss. Play football or shoot hoops with buddies. go take a visit to a spa with friends. Do anything that’s fun for you. Follow your goals with gusto. Be passionate about your life. Relationship’s are about sharing love not just getting it. Life should be fun!

What about the need of someone you love? What if you ‘get’ them or you don’t?

In Unconditional love, there is no ego. Easy to say, but a difficult to follow principle. In unconditional love you get happiness from within you and not just the partner. The thing that makes you wild and feel unconditional love is making your partner happy. Say you’re dumped or in a one side love, where you don’t get love back. Do you really think it makes a difference? You love to be with your partner, but keeping your partner happy makes you happier. If they are happy with or without you, you still feel happy for them. You feel you have attained happiness in your partner’s happiness. This doesn’t mean you stop enjoying your life. There would be some pain, but it’s a big deal only if you make one. Remember love is an unlimited resource; there is no limit to love. Some wonderful quote’s.

One’s first love is always perfect until one meets one’s second love.

Elizabeth Aston, The Exploits & Adventures of Miss Alethea Darcy, 2005

To fear love is to fear life, and those who fear life are already three parts dead.

Bertrand Russell (1872 – 1970), Marriage and Morals (1929) ch. 19

The world is always filled with wonderful people. It also helps you leave abusive relationships or those everything comfortable love, where there is only comfort and no passion of love.

Enjoying Unconditional love!

The best part about unconditional love is that there is no controlling part. No jealousy, coz there is no reason to be jealous. You don’t want your partner to act in a certain way or the other. You obviously encourage your partner to pursue there dreams and goals. Also teach them anything which could be a growing experience for them. But it’s from a genuine helping mindset with no mind games. It should be from heart! If they burp, you should obviously tell him/her to avoid it

This also helps you avoid the biggest mistake of making your relationship the only #1 priority in your life. Two people who can do something more then write poems 24/7 or stay together the whole day can bring a lot to the relationship. One should understand life is a journey to be enjoyed and not a destination. Love is to be enjoyed, not a possession to keep. Love yourself too and don’t make the relationship boring. You can keep the passion alive only if you do something more than just loving each other and loosing the real ‘you’.

Dive head first and deep in love and enjoy every moment of it, but don’t make it an obstacle in your life growth. Make it an inspiration, a source of positive energy to tackle every challenge of life. Relationship or infact, any of your decision should not be a battle between Heart and Mind. They always go together, and then you’re on a right path. Write a poem for the loved one, but don’t forget to clean the garage!

Do people fight over anything in unconditional love?

Yes, they do. Disagreements are a part of every relationship. How we tackle them are the key to long lasting relationships. When a disagreement happens over big things, every person reacts by their personality. Some may be dramatic and like to throw everything they have around them. Some would give a lion’s glare. Some may give a silent treatment. Some wouldn’t do anything, not even talk about it and try to ignore it completely, which leads to resentment later. Some may just call it off! All these screenplay make wonderful movies, but not long lasting relationships. The best way to tackle them is being honest to your partner about your feelings. Tell them what you don’t like. Listen to there reasons with an open mind and together make a decision. Make a sweet compromise which is a win-win situation for both. Say you like to spend a holiday going for a Comedy club and your partner want to sit at home and watch a Movie. Why not do both. Or do it alternately. Say you both are completely contrasted, you want to go play some sport with buddies and she want to go shopping. Create a solution. You can go shoot hoops with buddies and she can go with her friends for shopping. And then take a dinner together at some fancy restaurant. Create solutions, don’t just say ‘you get a new boyfriend and I’ll make a new girlfriend who likes football’

When to breakup?

A muddy topic, but to give justice to this article I’ll have to get my hands dirty. Breakup has to be the last stage, but it’s necessary under certain conditions.

1. Conditional egoistic love

2. Abusive relationship

3. Cheating

4. Drug abuse, Self-Destructive Addictions etc

5. Heavy Incompatibility

Now, before coming to conclusion for any of the above reason. Remember, People make mistakes, if they feel genuinely sorry for there mistake you should consider forgiveness. Though you should do it, only if you’re 100% comfortable to forgive someone and you are sure that it won’t be repeated or you won’t make the other person guilty for it day and night. Any incompatibility should be tried to resolve first. Problems should be discussed with honesty and love. These problems happen usually when one person loves the other unconditionally and the other doesn’t. Or sometimes, they could be unintentional due to social conditioning. Breaking up with someone doesn’t mean you don’t love them, but there is a bigger priority in your life of growth and honesty to self. To feel good and be happy in your life. If there is inconsistency with your principles, it’s probably time to leave saying ‘Good bye with love’. It would be painful, but a growing experience for both. And don’t breakup coz your partner didn’t cut his nails

Last Words:

Don’t get too worked up for having a perfect relationship. There is no perfect relationship, simply create perfect moments. Relationships can be a roller coaster ride, but it’s fun and adventurous. It gives you happiness. Not laughing 24/7 but a deep sense on inner joy and peace. One of the most amazing experience of life. It would also change the way you connect with others. It’s a lense which make this world beautiful. Love is about letting emotions flow and avoid thinking too much about it. Enjoy it!

By the way, don’t keep more than one soul mate of unconditional love; you may land in trouble