Types of Love !!!

This valentine day got me all charged up to write about love, so here it goes.

The emotion of love has been and would always be a mysterious emotion which every scientist or lover would be unable to define.

The best way to define is to just feel it and explore…

The types of love are created absolutely by the standards a person feels being in love.

Type 1: Seeking Love

Human beings always use social conditioning while approaching anything new. We are all socially programmed to seek true love.

Two people try to seek love in their surroundings, find each other, some butterflies run in the stomach and the chemistry seems to be the best. They fall in relationship to feel loved by the special one. The problem here is two people trying to seek love from the other. Both feel great love from each other during the start and everything seems to be perfect. But after sometime when both the people land on earth from the romantic ride from the moon, people discover lack of love. They see lack of love in the relationship, a power struggle starts where both wants to control the other, want to get more and more love from the other as they got during the start of the perfect relationship. There is no problem with anyone, but the reasons they fall in love was wrong. Trying to seek or get love from the other cannot be the base of a relationship. The control part of love comes in, the fear of loosing the other or unable to compromise factor comes in. This leads to one partner being the dominating, the other submitting or if they are conscious enough, they would leave the relationship. Or either one, dumping the other.

The feeling here is only of frustration, jealousy, desire to control and manipulate. Use of diplomacy and even dishonesty. A pure addiction to love.

Type 2: Infatuation

You just saw a babe and she’s the sexiest girl in the world, a striking beauty! Or you saw that handsome dude with the biggest attitude ever and a sexy build. The entire relationship is based on just sex. This type of relationship has the shortest life. The infatuation is the shortest lived emotion. As soon as the lust is over, so do the relationship. This relationship is not a problem if both parties agree to it, but it’s not true love.

The feeling here is only lust. Addiction to sex.

Type 3: Puppet Love

This is the type of love where a person is highly in love with the other, but the other isn’t. If they do get in a relationship somehow; it leads to a partner using the other emotionally, sexually, financially and every other way possible. The puppet partner has loosed the sense of his/her identity, the sense of purpose, the principles and the whole viewpoint of self. There is no sense of right and wrong for the puppet lover. The person has surrendered their life to the other. This usually happens due to low self-esteem and low confidence level of an individual. One partner is love seeker and the other is a comfort seeker.

The emotion felt by the puppet lover are of depression, low self-esteem, feeling worthless and a completely domesticated puppet.

The emotion felt by the controller are though good initially, may try to boost their self-esteem. But would always feel stuck and it would turn into resentment. They do have a comfortable corner, but one which they would hate to be in. The guilty feeling always takes over.

Type 4: The comfort Love

This relationship starts just for the sake of feeling of security of a relationship. These are the people who probably got hurt in past relationship or too scared to venture in the unknown mystery of love. Arranged marriages or relationships based as per perfect compatibility but lacking the passion of love and attraction. (I am not talking just about the physical attraction here ) They make the most comfortable relationships. Isn’t loving the one after you marry a safer option? To be frank, NO! It’s leaving the reigns of your relationship on luck. It’s like I don’t know how to choose my life partner so I better leave it to someone else or pure luck. Or probably I’ll select the one, my parents found for me. The one I selected just by looking a pic and the financial status. Some do it due to social conditioning. These people are soooooo scared of getting hurt, that they forgot the passion of love. They forgot what it is to get butterflies in stomach. For those who go in this relationship for fear of getting hurt, either forgot how wonderful every feeling of love is. Yes, you can get hurt, but it will help you grow and be a strong human being later. It would crush your heart to pieces, but it’s the only thing which would make it jump with the feeling of love. Love is the only thing which would make it expand beyond any limitations or reservedness you had. And those who go for the social conditioning, please open your mind up! This also includes people who are in a dead relationship, but fear to move on. Please remember, this world is filled with wonderful people all over.

The feeling here is though of comfort, they would always miss the passion of love. The most sacred feeling of completeness, the energy of love!

Type 5: Unconditional love

What is this? The day one recognizes it; it would be your biggest realization. It’s the same realization which prompted me to write this article. True love is where there is no expectation. The one where you don’t even expect the lover to be with you. There is no ego in the relationship. No sense of jealousy or even controlling the other. No fear of even loosing the other. How? True love is nothing else but pure love. It’s all about being happy for your partner’s happiness. Every smile you bring, every laughter you bring, makes you the happiest person on earth. This doesn’t make you leave your ethics and principle or sense of self. You love yourself, but there is so much love in ‘you’ that you want to share it with your partner. A complete abundance of love. The feeling removes jealousy and controlling behind because you don’t obsessively want the partner to be with you. There is no limit of love. You understand that even if your partner is with you or without you, you’re happy for them. This also doesn’t keep you attached to that single person after the relationship is broken, because you understand that love is an unlimited resource, an energy which has no end! It would also help you to leave old abusive, dead or one sided love because you understand there is no lack of love in this world. A true love always founds the right one. You remain so happy in the relationship, but even if it goes sour there is no feeling of regret, no feeling of loss because you love even yourself unconditionally. You always have your family and friends to support you. And the best thing you have is ‘you’. That one person that smiles at you in the mirror, the one that loves you unconditionally. In this love, you accept your partner as it is. You accept their strength and weakness; you don’t want to change them anyway. You encourage them to pursue their dreams and goals. You do everything to make your partner happy but yet don’t loose your sense of self. When this realization struck, it’s the most amazing one. You remain so happy for no reason at all. There is so much fun, that you would dislike the other old model of relationships. This makes the relationship so much fun and exciting. You give you’re partners happiness a priority but also yourself. This feeling brings the most amazing sense of security. Infact, this approach would even change the way you relate to others. You’ll be able to connect with everyone on a deeper level. The one based on honesty, love and acceptance. The feeling would grow out your relationship. It would completely change your mindset from scarcity to abundance. The feeling which makes you a source of energy, rather than an extractor. It would change the world around you. Positivity and the zest of life, makes you live the life with courage and with the passion of love.

The feeling here is full of passion, joy, fun and peace.

A relationship where two souls become ‘one’.

You would have seen more than one type of love in your relationship. We all have different phases and moods which make us dribble through these types. All we have to do is always strive to be on unconditional level. The one which empowers you and creates the abundance of love and joy.

Here’s a poem I wrote this valentine….

It’s called ‘Lover’, quite cheesy I know….

Nah! I don’t want to be your Lover,
I love to be your companion,
To share the deepest joys and sorrows with you,
To face every challenge with you together,
Nah! I don’t want to be your lover,
I love to be your friend to have pranks with,
To have cute fights over a piece of cake,
To share all the talks of our childhood dreams,
To listen to your talks, to walk in style forever,
Nah! I don’t want to be your lover,
I love to share the passion of love forever,
The deepest feelings two souls could ever reach,
To give my loyalty and unfold your deepest emotions,
To care so much, that I can feel your pain as mine,
To respect your strength and accept your weakness,
And Create perfect moments of joy, fun and peace forever,
Like never created in this world ever,
Nah! I don’t want to be just your lover,
Yes, I do want to be the most passionate lover…….